Zoe was adopted from our local animal shelter (Placer County Animal Shelter in Auburn) when he was approximitly 1 year and 2 months old. We didn’t know his exact date of birth, so we chose June 28 to be his birthday. He lived in Auburn, California (Northern California) for most of his life and moved to Pacific Palisades, California (between Santa Monica and Malibu) in 2006.

October 8, 2008 was the worst day of my life. I still remember waking up and looking over at Zoe. I instantly knew something was wrong. He didn’t look like he was in pain, he just looked uncomfortable. I wrapped my arms around him and cried. No! No! No! This can’t be happening. Not now! Please God! Please don’t take my Zoe! I was back and fourth between panic and denial. We cuddled and spent the day together.  That evening, I took him to see his Oncologist. Usually when he had appointments he would drag me around the office sniffing all the animal scents. It was a struggle to get him on the scale to weigh him. This time he completely ignored all the other animals and scents. He walked me right over to the scale, hopped on it, laid down, and wouldn’t get up. The nurse had to help me get him up and walk into the room. When he got to the exam room, he laid down and wouldn’t get up. It was awful! I could barely breathe. I kept telling myself to be strong and to do my very best not let Zoe know I was upset. It was sooooo hard not to break down and cry! I had to silently hold all my emotion in but I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my face. The vet assistants had to put Zoe on a gurney because he wouldn’t get up. They wheeled him out of the exam room and into the back to be examined. I gave Zoe kisses and hugs and told him that I loved him and that Mommy wasn’t going anywhere. My husband arrived from work shortly after Zoe left the room. My husband was in complete denial. He was so convinced that Zoe was going to beat the odds and that he was going to be the miracle boy. Zoe was doing so well. Zoe’s Oncologist came into the room and gave us the bad and dreaded news…. The cancer spread to Zoe’s heart. This was it. The air sucked right out of me. I had hoped to have Zoe home if and when the day came that we would have to put him to sleep. After talking to Zoe’s doctor, I decided we couldn’t take him home. I couldn’t let him suffer another minute. My husband and I went into the back to be with Zoe. When Zoe saw my husband walk through the double doors, he just about jumped off the table. The vet assistants had to stop him. He was so happy and excited to see his Daddy. I am so thankful that both my husband and I were able to be with him and say our goodbyes. My husband and I held him as he laid on the table. I told him over and over and over that I loved him. I told him he was going up to heaven to be with God and that he was going to be an Angel. We kissed and held our baby boy. When the doctor said he was gone, I collapsed to the floor and hysterically cried. I was heartbroken! My husband and our 3 young children were heartbroken! We still are. Life will never be the same without our son.

My world is empty without him. Not a day goes by that we don’t think about him, miss him, and cry for him. We miss him terribly! He was only 10 years old. We should have had more time together. It’s so unfair! I have to have faith that we will be reunited with Zoe one day.

Zoe, I miss you sooooooooooooo much!!!!!! I can’t believe you’re gone. My heart is broken. I was so protective and obsessive about keeping you safe….never did cancer enter my mind before that dreaded day in February 2008. It was a complete shock. You were so strong and brave. You fought so hard to beat that evil cancer. Mommy did everything possible to save you. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t have done. It’s so unfair that we didn’t have more time together. There is a whole in my heart without you here with me. Our home feels empty and lonely without you. You brought so much joy and love into my life. My world revolved around you. I miss everything about you….I miss your presence, kissing your ears, cuddling with you every night, you insisting on sleeping between Mommy and Daddy, you insisting on always being between Mommy and Daddy at all times, you pushing Daddy’s hand away from me when he was scratching me because you wanted him to scratch you, car rides, vanilla soft serve ice cream cones from McDonalds, your bark, you unwrapping gifts, you jumping up onto the bed, your devotion, your love, those puppy dog eyes you gave us when you wanted something,….everything. I miss worrying where you were when you were out of my sight for only a second. I loved your brindle and white coloring. You are the most beautiful and handsome boy I’ve ever seen. You were so loving, protective, tolerant, and gentle with the babies. I loved the special bond you and your oldest brother had. It’s no wonder he was born on your birthday. You protected us and loved us unconditionally. You are my son and my best friend. You were human to us and you were convinced you were a boy, not a dog. You were and will always be my world. I feel so blessed that I got to be your Mommy. I love you Zoe! Zoe, I love you with all my heart and soul! Daddy and your brothers and sister miss and love and you too. I pray everyday that one day we will be together again. Until then, we will always keep your memory alive as if you were still here with us.